Power. Control. Strength. All of these words can mean the same. Power is strength, both physical and mental. Power is control of your life and world. You can have power, take power, give power, and have power taken away from you. Everyone has power, but not everyone uses it the same way.
So how do I have power? When I horseback ride I am able to bend an animal 10X my weight to my will and have it work with me rather than in opposition. I control my life by finding and making time to model, perform burlesque, take pictures, knit, and play with fire. I have power by choosing to give up power on a daily basis.
I have actively and respectably given up power in two areas in my life. In my work life I give up power daily by going to work when I would rather be at home to take care of things and do freelance work. More importantly I give up personal power to 5 amazing people on a regular basis. I submit to them all, even though I would love to have more power taken by service or play tasks from all of them. Also, despite the fact I do not desire any relationships outside of these 5 I have, if I was to look elsewhere I give up power by making it clear that I would want all of them to approve of me doing so and with the person. I belong to five people and get strength in the moments that I give my power to them.
Power has been taken in multiple ways. I had my virginity stolen. I had my ability to fight corrupted. The knowledge that people protect each other was erased. I had wished I had my life stolen. I had even my ability to consent ripped away. I lost any possibility of sanctuary. I lost myself to alcohol and sex. I had the ability to find love removed. I had the choice of friends and clothes taken. I had my body hit. I had myself lost by others comments. I had my choice in sexual partners removed. I was raped, drugged, harassed, abused, assaulted, abandoned and pimped.
Luckily that last paragraph has been somewhat taken care of. I can put my trust in a small group of people who I have the ability to love. My clothes and friends are back to me. I no longer lose myself to outside forces but sometimes to my head. I'm not perfect but I'm getting better and I'm able to love and be loved now.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Ups and Downs
So this weekend was a mixed weekend of ups (mostly) and downs (a few). Friday night was my official Subversion cherry bursting. I did my Yoshimi routine for it and it seemed to go over well. I had a much better time this go around then when I had done it before. Woodsmith and Darkeyes were at the Crack Fox for it while Peaseblossom, Lamian, and Primal (formally Firedevil) were at Attitudes because Peaseblossom was performing. Before my routine I got kissed by one of the other performers which caught me off guard but she's awesome so I'm not complaining. Hung out for a bit after the show but ended up going home around 2:30.
The next morning Woodsmith and I had an engagement party at his parents place. A lot of my parents family and friends were there and a few of his were. Lamian, Primal, and Darkeyes showed up as did some of our other friends Treehugger, Magic Hat, and Knitbear. This was the start of my down. At least one of them. So as I've mentioned I'm polyamourous and have a poly family. My biological (and Woodsmith's for that matter) family doesn't know. I'm not used to keeping important things about my life like this from them and then on top of that I couldn't be affectionate towards them like I would want to. Have you heard of the love languages? My top two are Touch and Quality Time and when I have to hide away from who I am it ends up with me feeling lost and depressed.
After the engagement party, which was good in all other ways, we went over to spend some time with Peaseblossom and Primal since Lamian had fallen asleep. Was there for a little bit of time but then had to head over to Attitudes to perform for Charlotte's Last Saturday Strip show. On the way there I told Woodsmith about my therapy homework to talk about power and from remembering how I've lost it in the past the funk I was in got much worse. Luckily I was able to make it through my solo and the finale but on the way home I continued to crash and ended up passing out in a nice bath and being told I had to go to bed.
Woke up in the morning and took my shower, then went back to sleep. Finally I started to get myself pulled together which was a really nice thing. My mom, Woodsmith's mom, Peaseblossom, Treehugger, Knitbear, Alice, and TKMC came over to do a spa day with me. It was a nice day of pampering that I pretty much needed. After the parents left I talked with others about what happened to me last night which was needed. Later Peaseblossom and I went to dinner where we got to talk more about life and everything.
So all in all was mostly good. Had a drop but it was able to be taken care of, which was amazing.
The next morning Woodsmith and I had an engagement party at his parents place. A lot of my parents family and friends were there and a few of his were. Lamian, Primal, and Darkeyes showed up as did some of our other friends Treehugger, Magic Hat, and Knitbear. This was the start of my down. At least one of them. So as I've mentioned I'm polyamourous and have a poly family. My biological (and Woodsmith's for that matter) family doesn't know. I'm not used to keeping important things about my life like this from them and then on top of that I couldn't be affectionate towards them like I would want to. Have you heard of the love languages? My top two are Touch and Quality Time and when I have to hide away from who I am it ends up with me feeling lost and depressed.
After the engagement party, which was good in all other ways, we went over to spend some time with Peaseblossom and Primal since Lamian had fallen asleep. Was there for a little bit of time but then had to head over to Attitudes to perform for Charlotte's Last Saturday Strip show. On the way there I told Woodsmith about my therapy homework to talk about power and from remembering how I've lost it in the past the funk I was in got much worse. Luckily I was able to make it through my solo and the finale but on the way home I continued to crash and ended up passing out in a nice bath and being told I had to go to bed.
Woke up in the morning and took my shower, then went back to sleep. Finally I started to get myself pulled together which was a really nice thing. My mom, Woodsmith's mom, Peaseblossom, Treehugger, Knitbear, Alice, and TKMC came over to do a spa day with me. It was a nice day of pampering that I pretty much needed. After the parents left I talked with others about what happened to me last night which was needed. Later Peaseblossom and I went to dinner where we got to talk more about life and everything.
So all in all was mostly good. Had a drop but it was able to be taken care of, which was amazing.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Yoshimi and Trapped
So late in March I did a photo shoot with Allan Crain (https://www.facebook.com/acrain) for my birthday. I LOVE Lolita wear and two of the outfits I got I wanted to model really bad. One I actually use in a burlesque routine to Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots by The Flaming Lips. So we did one set against a huge metal statue I was fighting. The second I was hoping for a mix of a girl who ends up trapped in an abandoned building but I don't know how well I did with that.
So here's some pictures for you. First Yoshimi:
So here's some pictures for you. First Yoshimi:
Yoshimi sets off against the monster
Fight On
Take out from the legs
To the victor
Knowing that more will come.
Next a few images from the Trapped set:
Lost in the building
"That's not safe"
Stressed out
Wishing to be back out
Longing
Trying to calm oneself
What's over there
Did you hear that
That's where I need to be
Escape
Had an amazing time with an amazing photographer and loved every minute of it. Was also INCREDIBLY jealous of his camera. I want one of my own.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Happy Poly Weekend Times
To start out one of the reasons I think this work so well is for
all of us we are friends as well as lovers. It's not just a relationship
but this group of people is my family. The idea of hurting them hurts me.
But this weekend was a nice poly weekend.
Friday Peaseblossom and I went to Tartan Days and did some
shopping. Woodsmith joined us there but he spent most of his time with
the LHC group helping them set up. Peaseblossom got
some jewelry and I got a pair of earrings, a shawl, and a scarf.
We also had tea and scones and the three of us watched some adorable little
kids dance around.
Saturday Woodsmith went out to site to work on his building.
It was rainy and he was gonna be there all day, boring for me.
Firedevil and I talked about having me over to play on the tire swing; I
did end up over but since the swing was full of water we just hung out. We
watched some TV on Netflix, walked the dog, cleaned and tried to feed the snake
(who wasn't hungry). Later on Peaseblossom came over and Incendia, who is
Firedevil and Lamian's roommate, got off work and the four of us ate dinner and
watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer (singing along with the musical episode).
Woodsmith would have come over but he was exhausted from his day.
Crashed there all cuddly with Peaseblossom and Firedevil.
In the morning ate breakfast with Peaseblossom and Firedevil and
when Peaseblossom went to get some more sleep Firedevil and I started watching
an AMAZING show called Taboo. Just saw the first episode there but it was
awesome. Darkeyes came over to drop some stuff off and after saying hi to him I
headed out to get ready for a wedding reception.
That night (Sunday if you lost track) met up with Woodsmith (who
had visited his sick uncle), Peaseblossom, Firedevil, and Darkeyes at the
wedding reception for Lucien and Scarlet. The five of us sat together for
dinner and drinks and hung out during the toast, dessert, and music time.
Afterwards Darkeyes came to Woodsmith and my house so he was closer to the
airport to pick up Lamian when she got home. The three of us cuddled and
watched a couple of more episodes of Taboo and afterwards Darkeyes left to pick
up Lamian and Woodsmith and I went to bed.
All in all it was an amazing weekend with my amazing family that I
am blessed to be a part of. Having them in my life makes me the luckiest
girl in the world. XOXO to them all.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Photobug
So another hobby of mine is photography. I probably started taking serious amounts of pictures in 2005 but didn't get serious about it till a few years ago. I take pretty much any type of photo and honestly it's my top passion. I'd love to make it my career. So I started putting myself out there hoping to get there for some job type work.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
A Brief History of Fire
Had another sideburns yesterday (it's a weekly thing). Lamian, Darkeyes, Firedevil, Woodsmith, Twinkie,Snafu, Incendia, Lucien, Scarlett, and T (don't have a good nickname for her yet) were all there.
But this is more how I got into doing fire and the toys that I play with. I went to my first rave NYE 2005 into 2006. I went to more parties during 2006 and saw people (The Fire Technicians) spinning poi then. That summer I started learning poi from them and did my first burn of fire poi by the end of the year. I also got my own fire poi that year. They were really good teachers and I've learned a lot from them.
A couple of years later I wanted to incorporate more dance into my fire play and started to play with non fire fans. This would have been about 2008. Around 2009 I started hula hooping again because I had never learned and had some friends willing to teach me. I played with fans and hoop up until this year before really burning with them (I did my first fan burn in 2009 but that was on somone else's fans).
Lamian is also learning fans and is doing very well and I've convinced her to try the hoop around her waist (she's still learning hoop). The next couple of toys I pick up will be the last ones because they are the last really dance orriented ones; a fire orb and fire fingers.
So I've been burning poi for 6 years, playing with fans for 4 and hoops for 3. Just started burning those two. These next toys don't concern me too much set on fire wise because of how they are.
I speak of myself as a nymph somtimes (a cross between a dryad and a naiad) but there's a bit of a fire fae in me as well. No surprise since I'm quite covered in fire signs.
But this is more how I got into doing fire and the toys that I play with. I went to my first rave NYE 2005 into 2006. I went to more parties during 2006 and saw people (The Fire Technicians) spinning poi then. That summer I started learning poi from them and did my first burn of fire poi by the end of the year. I also got my own fire poi that year. They were really good teachers and I've learned a lot from them.
A couple of years later I wanted to incorporate more dance into my fire play and started to play with non fire fans. This would have been about 2008. Around 2009 I started hula hooping again because I had never learned and had some friends willing to teach me. I played with fans and hoop up until this year before really burning with them (I did my first fan burn in 2009 but that was on somone else's fans).
Lamian is also learning fans and is doing very well and I've convinced her to try the hoop around her waist (she's still learning hoop). The next couple of toys I pick up will be the last ones because they are the last really dance orriented ones; a fire orb and fire fingers.
So I've been burning poi for 6 years, playing with fans for 4 and hoops for 3. Just started burning those two. These next toys don't concern me too much set on fire wise because of how they are.
I speak of myself as a nymph somtimes (a cross between a dryad and a naiad) but there's a bit of a fire fae in me as well. No surprise since I'm quite covered in fire signs.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Love
So my therapist has me working on why I know my group loves me and how I love them. After talking with her last time I realized my depression I was having was because I don't have a track record of healthy relationships and now not only am I in the one with Woodsmith I'm in multiple ones and they all are healthy. And of course being in one big healthy one. But that it was messing with my head. So I wanted to write a small little bit about why I love each person.
Woodsmith is actually the hardest one to write this on because we've been together now for almost three years. So the whole exactly easy to pinpoint love is more an overriding feeling now. But he was the first person that I loved and trusted enough to give myself to submissively, to start exploring deeper kinks with, and open up to about becoming polyamourus. I never felt loved or safe enough before that and with him knew that I would not be exploited if I was to ask for it. There's a reason why not only am I submissive, I am collared by him.
Lamian is the first girl I fell in love with. With her I went from just thinking I could love a girl to knowing not only could I but I did. I realized I loved her well before I became her pet, hell before she and Darkeyes got together I realized I loved her. To me she always had this aura of light and beauty around her that just called me to her. She knows how to make me feel beautiful at times even when others aren't able to help me see it.
Darkeyes gets me to feel like a schoolgirl, all young and exploring still. He knows how to push the right buttons to make me fall into a space of naivete and learning. He's able to really bring forth my kitten side because I know that he not only desires but encourages that playful aspect of myself. With him I'm able to be the young bubbly girl I am at heart even if earlier in the day/week I had to completely put her aside and haven't been able to free her out.
Peaseblossom is this giddy ball of energy that honestly just connects to me like a bolt of lightning. Her energy rubs off on me and helps me feel connected to everything. She can just light up a room with how much she cares and wants to be there for others. Her little fae like qualities make me bubble up with so much joy and care for her. Her ability to just be one with her surroundings is something that makes me realize she is able to be one and there for anyone she chooses to be and I am lucky to be considered someone she wants that connection with.
Firedevil is one of my best friends. I haven't been able to state many people as one of those numbers. And if I was to be honest 7 months ago I don't think I would have been able to imagine him as one. But he has this uncanny ability to make me feel completely safe around him from everything else. I don't make use of this as much as I should but I feel like I can talk with him about anything going on in my life and get someone who will not only listen and care, but someone that will give me a hard truth if I need to hear it. His friendship and everything is one of the best things I think I could have. He may have been the last puzzle piece to fall into place but it's one that probably needed that time to strengthen into it's perfect shape.
So yeah, I can't imagine how my life would be without any of them in it. The group of them complete me in a way that I had no idea I needed to be completed in. I love them all so much and I do know that all of them love me as well. Because honestly if they didn't none of those feelings I have about them would be able to be as strong as they are. Thank you all for being a part of my life.
Woodsmith is actually the hardest one to write this on because we've been together now for almost three years. So the whole exactly easy to pinpoint love is more an overriding feeling now. But he was the first person that I loved and trusted enough to give myself to submissively, to start exploring deeper kinks with, and open up to about becoming polyamourus. I never felt loved or safe enough before that and with him knew that I would not be exploited if I was to ask for it. There's a reason why not only am I submissive, I am collared by him.
Lamian is the first girl I fell in love with. With her I went from just thinking I could love a girl to knowing not only could I but I did. I realized I loved her well before I became her pet, hell before she and Darkeyes got together I realized I loved her. To me she always had this aura of light and beauty around her that just called me to her. She knows how to make me feel beautiful at times even when others aren't able to help me see it.
Darkeyes gets me to feel like a schoolgirl, all young and exploring still. He knows how to push the right buttons to make me fall into a space of naivete and learning. He's able to really bring forth my kitten side because I know that he not only desires but encourages that playful aspect of myself. With him I'm able to be the young bubbly girl I am at heart even if earlier in the day/week I had to completely put her aside and haven't been able to free her out.
Peaseblossom is this giddy ball of energy that honestly just connects to me like a bolt of lightning. Her energy rubs off on me and helps me feel connected to everything. She can just light up a room with how much she cares and wants to be there for others. Her little fae like qualities make me bubble up with so much joy and care for her. Her ability to just be one with her surroundings is something that makes me realize she is able to be one and there for anyone she chooses to be and I am lucky to be considered someone she wants that connection with.
Firedevil is one of my best friends. I haven't been able to state many people as one of those numbers. And if I was to be honest 7 months ago I don't think I would have been able to imagine him as one. But he has this uncanny ability to make me feel completely safe around him from everything else. I don't make use of this as much as I should but I feel like I can talk with him about anything going on in my life and get someone who will not only listen and care, but someone that will give me a hard truth if I need to hear it. His friendship and everything is one of the best things I think I could have. He may have been the last puzzle piece to fall into place but it's one that probably needed that time to strengthen into it's perfect shape.
So yeah, I can't imagine how my life would be without any of them in it. The group of them complete me in a way that I had no idea I needed to be completed in. I love them all so much and I do know that all of them love me as well. Because honestly if they didn't none of those feelings I have about them would be able to be as strong as they are. Thank you all for being a part of my life.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Thunder Kittens HO!!!!!
The Thunder Kittens is the burlesque troupe that I'm in. We formed in September with our first show being in November (we got the gig three days before it was time so a bit of crunch time for it). There's myself, Allura, Sheena, AJ, Kat, Ginger, and Cynder. Rayna Skye and Charlotte SumTimes are honarary kittens who either frequently perform with us or us with them.
Yesterday was a practice to polish up numbers we want to have polished. I chose to work on the two that I'm going to be performing in a couple of weeks so here's the come out and play blog for them.
First on Friday 4/20 I'm going to be performing at the Crack Fox for Subversion's Monster Island Maidens show (FaceBook RSVP). That performance is my Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots rountine. Gotta do a bit of an adjustment before then to add some velcro somewhere to my costume so I can get it off over the hips but that shouldn't be too bad. I fight with a parasol in that routine.
The next night is Charlotte's Last Saturday Strip (RSVP Here) at Attitudes Nightclub in the Grove. Here I'm gonna channel my older little raver girl and do hooplesque to Faster Kill Pussycat by Paul Oakenfield. So apparently right now at Attitudes I'm just doing new burlesque forms first with the go-golesque and now with hooplesque. Hopefully they still like me when I go to do regular burlesque down that runway.
You should come out and see the performances. The other people at both shows are also amazing and we'll blow your socks off. Unless you're wearing sandals... then we'll just rock your face.
Yesterday was a practice to polish up numbers we want to have polished. I chose to work on the two that I'm going to be performing in a couple of weeks so here's the come out and play blog for them.
First on Friday 4/20 I'm going to be performing at the Crack Fox for Subversion's Monster Island Maidens show (FaceBook RSVP). That performance is my Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots rountine. Gotta do a bit of an adjustment before then to add some velcro somewhere to my costume so I can get it off over the hips but that shouldn't be too bad. I fight with a parasol in that routine.
The next night is Charlotte's Last Saturday Strip (RSVP Here) at Attitudes Nightclub in the Grove. Here I'm gonna channel my older little raver girl and do hooplesque to Faster Kill Pussycat by Paul Oakenfield. So apparently right now at Attitudes I'm just doing new burlesque forms first with the go-golesque and now with hooplesque. Hopefully they still like me when I go to do regular burlesque down that runway.
You should come out and see the performances. The other people at both shows are also amazing and we'll blow your socks off. Unless you're wearing sandals... then we'll just rock your face.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Fire Fae
Yesterday was the Tuesday Sideburns. Basically a group of us who likes to play with fire gets together and spins. Yesterday's group was myself, Woodsmith, Lamian, Darkeyes, Firedevil, Allura, DM (he's the Dungeon Master on the boys D&D night), Polecat (our lovely pole fitness girl), and Twinkie Boy.
We ate kebabs (Polecat and I made special ones for ourselves) because it was raining at first. I brought in Firedevil's non fire devil sticks and played with them while food was cooking.
Afterwards Lamian and I first started the night off by spinning poi. Allura did her fans following. I then lit mine for the first time. And Woodsmith took some pictures.
Also throughout the night Woodsmith played with his tri-sectional staff (non fire) and one of his fire double staves, Firedevil breathed fire and played with his fire sticks, Twinkie breathed and played with my poi, I spun all three a second time (then went half blind), Lamian played with the fire dart and the other staff, Darkeyes practiced with the fire dart. Everyone else just kinda watched.
Then we went inside to watch videos of other toys we want to play with. Metors, jump rope, orb, fingers, knives, contact staff, juggling balls.
I really feel like a fire fae now. It feels so pretty.
We ate kebabs (Polecat and I made special ones for ourselves) because it was raining at first. I brought in Firedevil's non fire devil sticks and played with them while food was cooking.
Afterwards Lamian and I first started the night off by spinning poi. Allura did her fans following. I then lit mine for the first time. And Woodsmith took some pictures.
After that I got my hoop ready to spin. I didn't feel comfortable doing many tricks with it cause they were burning for the first time. But I did spin it around my waist a bit.
Then we went inside to watch videos of other toys we want to play with. Metors, jump rope, orb, fingers, knives, contact staff, juggling balls.
I really feel like a fire fae now. It feels so pretty.
Poly and Depression
Let me preface this with an "I know my head is running away with me". Honestly I had a breakdown yesterday and I want my family to know why. I always leave important stuff out when I talk so I want to do this written because then if they read it they know exactly what's wrong and that I'm working to figure it out. And that I still love them entirely.
Anyways, yesterday was the sideburns (the Tuesday fire play that the next blog entry will be about) and for some reason I started to have a breakdown at it. The main focus is (I have to use present tense cause I'm still not better) that I started to feel like while I love my family both sexually and emotionally I felt that the emotional part isn't being recepricated and for some reason they only want me around for the sex. I know this isn't true but it's one of my brain's attack modes to me (you're only wanted for sex). I don't know why it started or how to get it to stop but hoping in therapy tonight I can start working on it.
Lamian and Darkeyes were really loving when I started to breakdown which snapped me out of it while I was at the sideburns, And it's one of the reasons I know that my head is just being my head. But on the way home it came back.
To Woodsmith, Lamian, Darkeyes, Peaseblossom, and Firedevil... if I seem in need of extra cuddles/nonsexual love these next few weeks while I'm trying to work this out please give it to me. It helps in ways you can never imagine. I love all of you. I just don't love what my head is making me think right now and I need the help.
Anyways, yesterday was the sideburns (the Tuesday fire play that the next blog entry will be about) and for some reason I started to have a breakdown at it. The main focus is (I have to use present tense cause I'm still not better) that I started to feel like while I love my family both sexually and emotionally I felt that the emotional part isn't being recepricated and for some reason they only want me around for the sex. I know this isn't true but it's one of my brain's attack modes to me (you're only wanted for sex). I don't know why it started or how to get it to stop but hoping in therapy tonight I can start working on it.
Lamian and Darkeyes were really loving when I started to breakdown which snapped me out of it while I was at the sideburns, And it's one of the reasons I know that my head is just being my head. But on the way home it came back.
To Woodsmith, Lamian, Darkeyes, Peaseblossom, and Firedevil... if I seem in need of extra cuddles/nonsexual love these next few weeks while I'm trying to work this out please give it to me. It helps in ways you can never imagine. I love all of you. I just don't love what my head is making me think right now and I need the help.
Monday, April 2, 2012
An Introduction to Cattiva
So I'm gonna give you all a brief run down of everything Cattiva related. Modeling, burlesque, go-go dancing, fire toy playing, and my poly life. Those will be the big things that this blog will cover.
1. Modeling: I first started modeling in 2008 and did so for a couple of years before I decided to work on finishing school. Just got back into doing it. I model pretty much everything from Lolita and cosplay to normal clothing to nudes and fetish. Open to doing any sort of work as long as it's not explicit adult (pornographic).
2. Burlesque: I started this up in September when I joined the Thunder Kittens burlesque troupe here in St Louis. With that I've performed at the Oz, the Way Out Club, and the Crack Fox so far. The Thunder Kittens also performed this Feburary at Conflation, which was amazing. Next month I also will do my first real burlesque (not go-golesque) at Attitudes.
3. Go-Go: This is amazing. I want to be able to do so much more of it so if you know anyone needing someone send them my way. So far I've go-go dancd twice at the Crack Fox and once (actually a go-go burlesque combo I've dubbed go-golesque) at Attitudes this past Saturday.
4. Fire: I spin poi, hula hoop, and do fans. I just got my fire hoop and fans around my birthday (the 28th of March) and have been spinning fire poi since 2006. I started playing with poi in 2005. Hula hooping in 2008 and playing with fans the same year. I've recently decided to start learning how to do double staff but am not ready for fire there.
5. Poly: I'm bisexual, poly, and kinky. I'm a member of an amazing poly family that I love with all my heart and they complete me. Honestly I don't need anything sexually or emotionally more than what the other five of them provide. Woodsmith is my fiancee and I'm a pet of Lamian and Darkeyes. The other two who I'm with in the group are Peaseblossom and Firedevil (that's my nickname for him since he is into both playing with fire and his devil sticks, especially combining the two). And while the little feminist in Peaseblossom cringe, I honestly am submissive and belong to all of them. Anything I do I want to make sure all of them are okay with because their feelings about my actions are important to me and I do not want to hurt my family.
So that's Cattiva Gattina. I'm sure I'll talk more as time goes on about everything but now you know a bit about who I am and what this blog will be about. Also if you ever want to hear something in particular in a blog post shoot me a comment, then I'll dedicate an entire blog to your question/desire for information.
1. Modeling: I first started modeling in 2008 and did so for a couple of years before I decided to work on finishing school. Just got back into doing it. I model pretty much everything from Lolita and cosplay to normal clothing to nudes and fetish. Open to doing any sort of work as long as it's not explicit adult (pornographic).
2. Burlesque: I started this up in September when I joined the Thunder Kittens burlesque troupe here in St Louis. With that I've performed at the Oz, the Way Out Club, and the Crack Fox so far. The Thunder Kittens also performed this Feburary at Conflation, which was amazing. Next month I also will do my first real burlesque (not go-golesque) at Attitudes.
3. Go-Go: This is amazing. I want to be able to do so much more of it so if you know anyone needing someone send them my way. So far I've go-go dancd twice at the Crack Fox and once (actually a go-go burlesque combo I've dubbed go-golesque) at Attitudes this past Saturday.
4. Fire: I spin poi, hula hoop, and do fans. I just got my fire hoop and fans around my birthday (the 28th of March) and have been spinning fire poi since 2006. I started playing with poi in 2005. Hula hooping in 2008 and playing with fans the same year. I've recently decided to start learning how to do double staff but am not ready for fire there.
5. Poly: I'm bisexual, poly, and kinky. I'm a member of an amazing poly family that I love with all my heart and they complete me. Honestly I don't need anything sexually or emotionally more than what the other five of them provide. Woodsmith is my fiancee and I'm a pet of Lamian and Darkeyes. The other two who I'm with in the group are Peaseblossom and Firedevil (that's my nickname for him since he is into both playing with fire and his devil sticks, especially combining the two). And while the little feminist in Peaseblossom cringe, I honestly am submissive and belong to all of them. Anything I do I want to make sure all of them are okay with because their feelings about my actions are important to me and I do not want to hurt my family.
So that's Cattiva Gattina. I'm sure I'll talk more as time goes on about everything but now you know a bit about who I am and what this blog will be about. Also if you ever want to hear something in particular in a blog post shoot me a comment, then I'll dedicate an entire blog to your question/desire for information.
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